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Issue:- 15 May 2015

Relate follows in celeb footsteps with tips for bringing mindfulness to your relationship

MINDFULNESS is having a well deserved moment in the media spotlight with celebrities such as Emma Watson, Goldie Hawn and Gwyneth Paltrow swearing by it. The seemingly simple act of paying more attention to the present moment has been shown to improve mental wellbeing and is the theme of this year's Mental Health Awareness Week. But is it really that easy?

Relate Cheshire & Merseyside believes many people could benefit from introducing basic mindfulness exercises to their relationships and sex life, so has put together some simple exercises to get started.

Relate counsellor Susie Woods explains what the fuss is all about:- "We use mindfulness in sex therapy to help people experience more pleasure by being able to relax and stay focused and present in the moment. Mindfulness can also benefit our relationships as a whole by relieving stress, building intimacy and enhancing inner peace. This in turn allows us to have more positive interactions with our partners. The great thing about mindfulness is that there are plenty of exercises you can practise at home, either on your own or with your partner. It doesn't have to be a huge commitment; even starting with a few minutes each day can help you to feel more connected. Don't worry if you feel self-conscious to start with; it may take some time to get used to but you'll feel the benefits once you get into it."

Susie Woods's 3 mindfulness exercises to enhance your relationship...

Focus on your breath


Set some time aside every day to focus on your breathing. It doesn't have to be long to begin with; maybe start with just five minutes a day and work your way up to 20.

A good way to start is on your own with no distractions. Close your eyes, relax and start to become aware of how you're breathing. Breathe in slowly through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Repeat this and gradually become aware of sensations in your body. Recognise and welcome them and then allow those thoughts to drift away to be replaced with other feelings as they arise. Notice what you're experiencing and feeling. The aim is to let go: rather than reject intrusive thoughts, just let them drift away.

Practise with your partner


Once you've practised the breathing exercise a few times on your own, why not try this simple exercise with your partner? Sit facing and look into each other's eyes. Breathe slowly in through your nose and exhale through your mouth as before but this time synchronise your breathing. Do this for several minutes; it may feel a little strange at 1st, but stick with it and it can have powerful results, increasing feelings of relaxation and intimacy.

Counting exercise


Find a quiet place and close your eyes. Now, in your mind, slowly count to ten. Focus on each number as you come to it. Visualise it, then let it go. You'll probably find that the 1st few times your mind wanders; when it does, just go back to number one and start again. Gradually you'll be able to build up to 10 without interruptions and feel you've created a calm space in your busy day. Relate Cheshire and Merseyside offers information, advice and counselling for all stages of your relationships, including counselling for couples and sex therapy. Call us on:- 0300 330 5793 or visit:- relatecm.org.uk for more information.

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Deceased estates notice - Lilian May Jackam

Pursuant to the Trustee Act 1925, any persons having a claim against or an interest in the Estate of Lilian May Jackam (also known as Lillian May) Jackam (Deceased), late of Birch Abbey Rest Home, 55 Alexandra Road, Southport, Merseyside, PR9 9HD, UK, who died on 04/10/2018, are required to send particulars thereof in writing, to the undersigned Solicitors, on or before 24/05/2019, after which date the Estate will be distributed having regard only to claims and interests of which they have had notice. Churches Solicitors, 12 High Street, Fareham, Hampshire, PO16 7BL, UK. Ref:- 'T553015.'

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